Just My Love
by Michaela123
Summary: A case brings up old feelings for JJ.


_**So this is the first one shot…I think I am going to have then all in the same universe (meaning they all link)…or at least if I change the universe, I will say…who knows though! I may change my mind. I did want to put this up yesterday, but seeing as I have been procrastinating work the whole holiday (And getting things ready for New York!) it wasn't finished! Anyway, I hope you like it! I'm not particularly happy with it…but oh well!**_

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David had sensed something was wrong from the moment JJ had presented the case. She had been avoiding him since they first boarded the jet to Pennsylvania. At first he had put it down to that fact alone. He knew how much she hated returning to the he small town that she grew up in, but as the days rolled on, he realised that it was much more than that. And now he knew it.

Heading straight to her apartment, David knocked lightly, calling her name. "Jen…Jennifer, sweetheart, please. Open the door." Leaning his head against the door when he received no answer he started to dig in his pockets, desperate to find his way into her house. He needed to look into her beautiful blue eyes and see the life back there. "Jen, I've got keys, I'm coming in." Slipping the key into the lock, David swung the door open only to be met by darkness. "Damn it, Jen! Where are you?" Dropping his keys and briefcase by the front door, he locked up and then shook off his coat and shoes, before climbing the stairs and heading towards JJ's bedroom. Pushing the door opened, David felt his heart stutter when he saw her curled up in the middle of the bed. "Jen?"

Snapping her head up, JJ stared up at him with glassy eyes. "Dave?"

"It's me, sweetheart." Sitting down on the bed, David brushed her hair out of her eyes. "What is going on Jen? Talk to me."

Shaking her head, JJ buried herself further into the duvet cover. "I can't."

Kissing her as he pulled her into his arms, he forced her to look at him. "You can sweetheart and you need to. What is wrong? What have I do? We were fine before we took this case, and now you don't even want to be in the same room as me. If you tell me what I have done, I can make it better."

Jerking her head up, JJ pushed herself up so she could look at him. "You didn't do anything David…this…this is all me."

"Sweetheart, you need to tell me what has happened. I can make it better."

"You'll never look at me the same." JJ sniffed, pushing herself off of his lap and wrapping her arms around herself. "I'll be dirty too you. You won't want me…"

"Don't be silly, sweetheart. You are Jennifer. My beautiful Jennifer. You can never be anything but that to me."

Closing her eyes, JJ wiped the tears that were forming. "When I was seventeen…I went away to camp with my soccer team. We were having a great time…soccer all day, camp fires all night…on the final night…I was so tired so I decided to go back to my cabin early…My friend offered to come back with my but I didn't want to ruin her night so I told her to stay…I walked straight back to the cabin…the way I have ever night since we had been there…I felt like someone was watching me.I had felt like that since I got there…but I didn't think anything of it because we did always have people watching us…it was how I got my scholarship for college and…I didn't know any better…I was just a small town girl…I didn't think like an FBI Agent then…but it was different…" Lifting her eyes up from where they were focused on the floor. She laughed without humour. "I was about five feet from my cabin when he grabbed me…he...he dragged me into the woods and held me down…he…he…" Closing her eyes, JJ shook her head. "I can't"

Pulling her into his arms, David held her as tight as possible as he felt his blood run cold. Some one has hurt his Jennifer. Someone had touched his Jennifer He didn't need her to finish that sentence to know what it was, and he didn't know how to keep his anger controlled at that. "Oh Jennifer…why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a long time ago…I…I told the police but nothing ever came from it…I just tried to put it behind me. I went to D.C. and it was in the past. I wasn't Jenny Jareau anymore."

Taking a deep breath, David wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer to the question he was about to ask. "What changed?"

"I had to face the demons from my past…I thought I got over this David…I thought that I had put this behind me…but then I saw the case file and I knew…I knew that it was all my fault.

Feeling his heart drop, David pushed deeper. "He was our unsub?"

Nodding, JJ pulled her arms tighter around herself. "I knew it was soon as I read the details…what he did to them…he did to me…" Closing her eyes, JJ fought the tears. "I'm the reason he killed them girls. I could have stopped him."

"What? What on earth are you talking about?" David gasped, looking at her in shock.

"Use your head, David. You have been a profiler for a long time…and FBI agent even longer. I should have pushed it with the police…but it was dark…I didn't see his face or know his name…I could have saved those girls that pain, David!"

Holding her face so she couldn't look away, David looked straight into her eyes. "No. No, you are wrong, and don't you ever say anything like that again. You were seventeen…you were a child just like those girls, and there was no way that you could have stopped him."

"Maybe if he had killed me then it would have been enough!" JJ yelled pulling herself out of his arms to pace around the room. "Maybe if I hadn't have run he would have killed me and not them girls! It's all my fault!"

"Don't you _dare_ say then!" David screamed, grabbing her into his arms and shaking her with a little more force than he ever intended. "Don't you_ dare_ even think that!"

"I could have stopped him." JJ argued.

"It's horrible, Jen…what he did to those girls…what he did to you…but it has never been your fault, and you couldn't have stopped him. Not back then. If I could bring those girls back, I would…if I could go back to that night…you wouldn't stop me, but you are blaming the wrong person. You can't wish that he had killed you instead of those girls…I know that it is horrible, but you have to think of how many other lives that you have saved. I know it doesn't make those girls deaths right, but if it wasn't for you, so many other families would have lost their children. Their fathers. Their mothers." Holding her close, he buried his face in her hair. How had he missed this? How had any of them. He had seen the way that bastard had looked at his Jennifer. "Why didn't you tell the team?"

Feeling the guilt she had held for thirteen years slowly ebb away, JJ finally let herself relax. "I don't want them to look at me differently…Hotch knows."

Snapping his head up, Dave could feel the anger rising. "He knows and he still let you face that son of a bitch? I'm going to kill me!"

"No…Dave…no…he knows what happened…he doesn't know that it was our unsub. I don't want any of them to know. I don't want them to look at me like I am going to break every time this case comes up."

Kissing her gently, David sighed as he tried to process all of this. "You should have told me."

"If I had told you, you wouldn't have gone into this objectively."

"Too bloody right I wouldn't! I would have killed the son of a bitch!"

"And what good would have that have done? You would have gone in there all guns blazing and either killed him, or got yourself killed then he would have won again!"

"It would have got you justice!"

"You got me justice, David…for so long I've lived with this over me…I have always wondered if he was going to come back for me. But you caught him…"

"If you had told me, I would have caught that son of a bitch a lot sooner."

"No Dave, you wouldn't. There was no point of me telling you."

"Yes, Jennifer. Yes there was." Cupping her face, he kissed her gently. "I love you, and that means that I want to know everything about you. The good and the bad. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't trust me."

"I trust you, David. I always have I just…I don't know…I just wanted to put it behind me…I didn't want your pity."

"You don't have my pity." Kissed her deeply, David smiled. "You just have my love."


End file.
